Coach Anush Gagua here with Executive Coach Calvin Chen with a big question: “Are you succeeding out of inspiration or desperation?”
You may run faster toward results when pressured, but how long can you go on like that?95% of people move forward out of desperation, says executive coach Calvin Chen. People are hard on themselves in their effort to succeed and make it happen. They get energy for doing things from that pressure inside based on what they do NOT want vs. what they would like to have.Do you want to succeed without burning out? Then take the time to pause and focus on where you want to go and what you want vs. what you don’t want. You might be moving quickly when under pressure, but are you moving toward where you want to go? Or, are you being chased by that thing that you are afraid of and are running away from?
If you want sustainable success this episode with Executive Coach Calvin Chen is a must. Calvin Chen has improved the performance of many individuals and companies in the past 10 years working with UFC fighters, Re/Max, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley & New York Life. Calvin Chen has also worked with legendary Tony Robbins Team, as a Coach Consultant & helped close $4 million in sales.
Let’s dive into succeeding out of inspiration! Shall we? I’ll meet you on the other end of success.
KEY TAKEAWAY: Emotionally trust yourself when taking on challenges to make a lasting change in your life. When going after your goals with your coach, enjoy the process and celebrate the small steps in between. Build a momentum. That’s what changes the game!
So, high achievers!! Are you ready to go to the next level without burnout? Here are 3 Questions to ask yourself on this journey to success with your coach.
- Are your coachable? You got to be open-minded. You got to pause and focus on what you want. You got to pay attention what’s working for you and be able to communicate it.
- Are you willing to celebrate your small wins to fuel your next move? If we want to keep pushing and doing bigger things, we have to make sure that we are consistently fueled emotionally to do it…just like an athlete needs to be fed to have the fuel to build muscle. You need to celebrate your small wins to create that very emotional fuel that will propel you forward.
- Are you clear about your outcomes? First, decide what it is that you want. If things were just like you wanted, what would that look like for you? Know what that win is for you. Then, navigate toward your win with absolute clarity. Close the gap between where you are and where you want to be vs. wandering around.
And, as always, I would love to hear from you with a promise of a GIFT for the best comment: What is one thing in your life that if you changed it today, the quality of your life will improve forever?
Leave your comment below for your chance to win 12 weeks of one-on-one coaching.
To your success+happiness,
Coach Anush Gagua
PS: Did you like this video? If you liked it, please like it on FB, share it with your people and subscribe to my youtube channel! Heartfelt thanks!!
Anush: Hello. Coach Anush Gagua here. Welcome to Your Life Transformation with Anush TV. The place to be to start creating the kind of life you’ve always wanted, your go-to every week for success, healthy lifestyle and transformation. I’m here to share with you the best tools and techniques in the personal development industry from Napoleon Hill to Tony Robbins to John Maxwell, to help you take your life to the next level, whatever that may be. It may be a better relationship, a better career, or abundance, only you know what is a must for you to change. We’re just here to help you get there with Anush TV.
Today, if you would like to succeed out of inspiration versus desperation, then this show is just for you. Today, we’re going to talk to an amazing executive coach, Calvin Chen. He’s also an amazing speaker. He has changed many, many lives in the past 9 years. He has worked with many individuals, including UFC fighters, and also great companies such as New York Life, Merrill Lynch, Morgan Stanley…
Anush: Hi. Calvin.
Calvin: Hey, Anush. How are you?
Anush: Thank you so much for being here. I’m so great. I’m just very excited to be here with you. We both have had so much in common. I’m so glad that we have met at CoachVille as we were mastering the art and craft of coaching.
Calvin: Isn’t that great? It’s been a really fun journey so far, Anush.
Anush: Absolutely. You are really big with working with people, and getting them to succeed out of inspiration versus desperation. Let’s just talk about what that definition is, first of all.
Calvin: Sure. Absolutely. Let’s define it first. I see that maybe 95%, I want to say 100, but I’ll say 95 just to play it safe, of the people that I’ve worked with, I noticed that people are, number 1, really hard on themselves. Number 2, the reason why they’re so hard on themselves is because they want to really succeed and make something happen. The way that they get that energy is by creating all this pressure on this inside. When I say that when I look at people and I see that they’re working from desperation, what’s happening is that they’re really working hard because they don’t want to be a failure. They don’t want to not be good enough, or they don’t want to disappoint their wife, or they don’t want to become fatter, they don’t want to lose.
That’s really how I would define working from desperation, is working from this place of I don’t want this thing to happen. There’s no freedom in that.
Anush: There is no freedom in that. It’s basically fear-based.
Calvin: Absolutely. In order to work from inspiration, it’s a very subtle shift. If you imagine someone running really hard. If you look at why they’re running really hard, it’s because there’s a lion chasing after them. They’ll run really hard like their life depended on it, because in that moment, it does. They get maybe 2 blocks, 4 blocks ahead. The adrenaline wears off. They slow down.
Calvin: Until that pressure comes back again, and they start to run really hard again. It’s just not sustainable. It’s really not fun. It’s like why don’t we actually focus on where you want to go instead. What is that that you actually want in your relationships, or in your career? In this conversation that you’re actually about to have with your client or your wife, and it’s very critical, what’s your intended results?
Calvin: Yeah. What happens is sometimes, we’re so in that place of fear and stress that we don’t really even define exactly what the outcome is that I want. It’s like, “How do I move toward that? I’m moving very quickly, but I’m moving because of this thing that’s chasing me.”
Anush: That thing that’s chasing you is basically the fear of failure …
Anush: Pretty much.
Calvin: Right. It creates all this pressure. Then, it’s like, “Well. I’m trying my best. Why don’t you guys appreciate?” Then, for the people around us, it’s like, “Well, we appreciate that you’re trying, but you’re being so unpleasant.”
Anush: Unpleasant. Sometimes, ineffective, too, right?
Calvin: Right. Unpleasant and …
Calvin: Yeah. I mean, it’s hard to be effective and pleasant when you’re in that place of pressure and fear.
Anush: One of the things that you talked about is how do you continuously succeed? There’s like, “Boom. I succeeded.” Then, the next day, I feel crashed, and I feel burned out. I don’t know how I’m going to produce that same result the next day. It’s a matter of becoming rather than just getting things done. Can you talk more about that?
Calvin: Absolutely. I actually, I just had a coaching session with a client today, right? I have him using a project management software just to track the stuff that he says he’s going to do, because he has so many great ideas, which is amazing. The follow through is where the money is. He’s got these things on the project management software, it’s called Asana. He gets the thing on his phone that says, “Hey, it’s time to do something.” He’ll say, “I’ve done a lot of the things but part of me feels like, what’s the point, because as soon as I check this off, that’s not the end. There’s still the next thing to do.” He’s feeling frustrated. This old way of working from desperation, it’s, “I just have to finish everything. Oh my gosh.”
Anush: So many to do’s.
Calvin: He came to a point where he finally realized, you know what, there’s always going to be a next step. Just get over it. The game is happening. The game is a 5. You just play the game continuously. It’s not this thing that you have to check off, so that you can finally breathe. Breathe now and play the game, because it’s going to keep happening.
Anush: Also, one of the things that you and I both know that really helps people to succeed is their ability to be coachable, and also to celebrate small wins as they move towards the bigger success. If you could identify what makes someone coachable, what would these 3 things be for example in your opinion?
Calvin: Yeah. I’ll tell you what they are for me.
Calvin: The thing is I don’t get a yes to these 3 things. We might still find a way where I can work with this person, but it gets harder. Number 1 the thing that makes someone coachable to me is just an ability to be open minded, and to look at things differently, or see things differently so that we can do different things, and get a different result than what we’re currently getting. It’s just an ability to say, “You know what, my brain is going this way. Let me pause and say what other opportunities or ways to interpret is there so that I can play the game differently?”
Anush: I think that first thing is also making sure that someone is not being chased consistently by fear, is that pause and just being able to try out new things, and just being open to new things, versus when you’re running, running, running, and you never pause to see what’s next, what’s exciting. That’s very much related to that. Then, what’s the second thing?
Calvin: The second thing, I want someone to really communicate with me, and be able to say, “Hey. This is working, or this is what’s not working.” In other words, I want them to really be paying attention to what’s working for them, or not, or what are they seeing out there, this is the feedback that I’m getting so far. Because, if they’re able to communicate it, I know that they’re seeing it. If they’re seeing the things that work or don’t work, then we can start doing different things, or the same things. We can know how to play the game better from there.
Anush: One other thing that people … Everybody wants to succeed. Everybody wants a lot of money. Everybody wants great, better relationship. A lot of times, what people fail to do is just measure where they are right now, and just having that clear vision of what’s next. They’re just measuring every milestone on the way to that big thing. Just measuring if you want to succeed and understand if you’re successful is just measure things.
Anush: Over communication, and just understanding how things are, that’s very important, as well. Beautiful, beautiful points. What is the third one?
Calvin: The third one, my personal favorite, is to me, someone is very coachable if they’re willing to emotionally trust themselves and trust the process. To me, what that would look like is, “Can we have fun with this?”
Anush: Yeah. Fun.
Calvin: Right? If we’re going after these goals that you consider is important, working with a coach is not cheap. I don’t say that just because of the money, but also because emotionally, you’re going to take on big challenges that you’ve maybe been running away from, or haven’t fully taken on before. It’s like, “Hey. If we’re going to do that, and it’s meaningful to you, and you’re willing to do that, can we enjoy the process? Can we make it meaningful? Can we celebrate the small steps in between, along the way?” That way, we can build a very strong momentum. The momentum is what changes the game.
Anush: Very often, achiever clients, they’re like, “I don’t have time for celebration. I need to move on to the next thing. What is this thing celebration? I really don’t have time for that? Next. I don’t have time for that.” What do you say to your high achiever clients to really help them understand what they have accomplished, so that they can have that inspiration fuel their next move?
Calvin: That’s the word, the word that you just said there, fuel. This really is about fuel. The thing is that if we want to keep pushing and doing bigger things, we have to make sure that we’re consistently fueled emotionally to do it. I have clients that are very into working out, adn their fitness. The analogy that I use for them is if you’re in they gym and you’re working on very hard, you don’t feed yourself. You’re breaking down muscle, but it’s not building back up. You can sustain that for a while. Then, after a while, your nervous system goes shut. Your muscles are breaking down because you’re not feeding it enough. You can’t sustain that level of activity for too long. Do you want to play this game to last, or is this like a 1 week, 2 month thing?
Anush: Yeah. One of the things for you if you’re watching the show right now is really, really look into your life as it is now. Look at it and see how it can be better. See what’s there? How it can be better. Today, we’re going to share with you 3 things that you can be in direct control of immediately right away so that you take your life to the next level, and you do it consistently and successfully so that that thing is a lasting change, kind of creating a lasting change so that you don’t burnout.
Anush: I really love this story. I went on your website, great website, by the way. I read the results that you have created throughout the years. One of the testimonials that stood out for me is this. I want to read it to you. It’s by Jennifer Lee. It says, “I have had 2 coaching sessions with Calvin. After the first coaching session, I literally went from being top 40 in the world, at my sport, to top 15. No change in training, no nothing. Our coaching session was the day before World Championship. Hey, speaking of that change in psychology. It’s the same player.
Calvin: Same player.
Anush: Just the same championship. Going from top 40 to top 15. What do you think was that shift that you made in their psychology in this particular case?
Calvin: The big difference was teaching her how to play, actually. What’s interesting is that she’s a stand up paddler. It’s a sport. It’s supposed to be fun. When people get competing at the high of a level, they feel like they have to win at every cost, right? They’re burning energy. Something inside just clenches. The energy can’t move fully in their body. Now, you might not be a stand up paddler, but you have your own version of that as a coach, as a wife. I have my own version of that as business person. We get to these points where we’re trying so hard that we’re clenching so hard that the energy is not flowing anymore.
With her, it was really teaching her, “Hey. When you feel that need to double down on your effort, how can you do that in a way where your awareness is expanding, not contracting, and your energy is fully flowing?” It took some exercises, because we did all of this by phone. It took some visualizing. It took really digging into, “Hey. Why are you doing this? Are you doing this so that you don’t lose? Or are you doing this because you want to become this sort of person. With every stroke, with every play, you’re being that person. Once again, that intention.
When we found it, she found out, “Oh my god. This is so enjoyable to play for that. Why would I just want to play to not lose?” When she stepped in with that sort of an intention, then she felt free again to just perform however her body was alreadyreally trained to do.
Anush: There’s this thing called Play Big in life and that spirit of play. A lot of times, again, serious high achiever people say, “I don’t have time for games. I’m not playing anything. This is a serious thing that I’m trying to accomplish.” When you bring in that spirit of play when, “Hey. This is a great game. Yes, you’re playing to win and get results. If you don’t win every step of the way, there’s still a win if you learn something from this game, and then you can take it to the next level.” That’s a big one.
One of the most touching stories that I know of you is remember when we were at Tony Robbins Event, Unleash the Power Within. I bumped into you, you said, “Oh my god. I just had this conversation with one of my clients I’ve coached 3 years ago. She was being evicted. Now, she has built this 1 million dollar on my business. She’s selling it right now at 1 million dollars.”
Calvin: Let me say this first, when I work with my clients, everything that we talk about is confidential. I’m really grateful to Naima for signing off on this. Thank you. I’m going to back up and just tell a story of what happened, because I think it’s just really fascinating. When I first worked with her years ago, at that moment she wasn’t able to just say, “Hey. I’m going to hire a coach.” I worked with her for a coaching session. What happened was she owned a rental property. She went to collect the rent. The renters pretty much assaulted her.
Now, this is a stay-at-home mom that has 10 children at home. She had a tenant that she was just collecting rent from. They assaulted her, pretty much. Coming home from that, you can imagine how much pain she was in embarrassed … I mean, all the emotions from sad to mad to hurt to everything in between. She was going to do something very unlike her. It’s just, when you’re in that space, you want to do things to get revenge, and what not. She didn’t. She reached out to me. I felt her pain through that. I just knew that if this pain is not turned into a purposeful, something powerful that she would actually want to take that tragedy and have some good come out for it for the world, that it would consume her life. Not even like it would consume her life years down the line, but it would consume her life now because of the things that she’s considering doing.
I wrote back to her and said, “You’ve got to make this mean something that doesn’t just solve the pain that you experienced, but also fixes something in the world so that people don’t have to go through something that you just went through.” Out of that, she created this idea called theworsttenant.com.
Anush: Theworsttenant.com. Now, this one is being sold right now?
Calvin: Right. Now, theworsttenant.com, she just got approached by the MLS which is the Multiple Listing Service in New York City. It’s a big real estate thing. They want to buy it from her for a million. She turns around. She talks to her lawyers. They say, “No. Hold up. We think it’s worth more.” There’s that game being played there.
Anush: Yeah. Even the worst things really can lead to something great as long as you’re willing to understand and process it, and understand why are the things happening for me, not to me. Sometimes, it is very challenging to do that, especially when you are experiencing a problem, and you are stuck. I think that’s where the power of coaching comes in to play is, what is the meaning you’re going to attach. As we wrap this thing up, I want you to please share with our viewers what are some of the things that if they’re experiencing a challenging situation right now, what is the one thing that they actually can change in their life to really move forward?
Calvin: That’s a big question.
Anush: I understand. It’s a 1 million dollar question.
Calvin: Absolutely. If you’re experiencing a challenge in your life right now … Whether you’re experiencing a challenge right now, or there’s a challenge that you just want to go take on right now, how about that? I think it’s very important to just come back to the core message from today. First of all, just decide what it is that you want. If we just put aside for a moment that you have these pressures, and I can’t let this happen, or I can’t let that happen, just clear that space in your mind. Create a picture for yourself right now, “Okay. Well, if it worked, if it was the way that I wanted it to be, what would that even look like?” If you’re going to take a challenge on, or you’re facing a challenge, you need to understand what is a win for you.
If you can navigate toward win and move toward that win, then the game becomes really easy, because now you can just run that shortest distance between 2 points, which is that straight line. If you’re taking on a challenge, or you’re experiencing challenge, then you’re just not clear exactly what it is you want to move toward, you’re just going to be running like this. At some point, you’ll run out of adrenaline, you’ll run out of breath, you’ll run out of gas.
Anush: It’s like driving without having a clear destination.
Calvin: That’s exactly right.
Anush: If you’re driving and you don’t have that destination out there, you’re just going to wander around, whereas when you have that clear vision … That’s why the power of vision is so important. That’s when things change.
Anush: Very quickly, I know that you work for NASA, and you’re about to get your PhD, why did you get into Life Coaching?
Calvin: I got into life coaching on accident. It feels really weird to say because I just, at this point, 9 years later in the industry, I know that this is my calling. I quit the path of science and bio-informatics because I just felt like it wasn’t who I wanted to become. I just had this vision of being an entrepreneur. I decided to chase it at the age of 22 without any training or experience. That was doomed to fail, obviously. One step led to another, I decided I would learn sales. That’s very entrepreneurial. It’s the front lines of business. Eventually, I ended up working for Tony Robbins.
Calvin: I was really just … Yeah. So amazing. I started cold-calling for Tony, which is the bottom-rung on the ladder of sales. I went in. I was hungry. It was a great environment. I learned a lot. That’s how I found out that there’s this thing called Life Coaching anyway. For 7 months, I wanted to be in the coaching department. Manager told me no. I was 23 at that time. I still said, “Dude,” too much in my language. Nothing really said that this kid, if you put him in the coaching team, would succeed. I just kept coming back. I was fortunate hit belief in me. I had the support of the team. I learned very quickly. I learned to be very coachable, or I was very coachable. The rest was history from there.
Anush: Well, that’s amazing. I’m so honored and blessed to know you. Thank you so much for your beautiful work and with the intention of course always to serve, and just helping people see possibilities and transformation, because when people are stuck, they think it’s the end of the world. There is no next thing for them. Just making that shift is extremely, extremely important.
Anush: That’s all for today. Thank you so much for watching. Please, make healthy little tweaks in your life week to week with Anush TV. Pretty soon, you’ll be living the life you’ve always wanted. It always takes courage to start things. Here is my big question to you and my challenge to you, what is one thing in your life that if you changed it today, then the quality of your life will improve forever? If you have that answer, please come on over to anushgagua.com and leave your comment there. One of you will be picked. We might personally work with you to help you create the life you deserve and desire. If you liked this video, please subscribe to our channel and share it with the people you love and you care about. If you want even more insights, more resources, and also invitation to personally empowering events that I go to, please sign up for our email update. We will definitely make sure that we’ll connect with you and share all this great resources with you. That’s all for today. Remember, life is what you make it. Make your life outstanding.